


Hate at First Sight

by Titti



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Challenge Response, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-03-17
Updated: 2005-03-17
Packaged: 2019-01-16 04:20:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,952
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12335367
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Titti/pseuds/Titti
Summary: Narcissa reflects on how love and hate signed the important moments of her life.





	Hate at First Sight

**Author's Note:**

> Written for violet_quill's 'the Voices and Vaginas of HP Women' Challenge at http://www.livejournal.com/users/violet_quill/119726.html

**Narcissa's POV**

I thought I knew what love is. I loved my parents when I was a little girl. I used to sit all pretty, with my blond curls and expensive robe, listening to my mother's friends. I thought that nothing could be better than that, but then I grew up, and my mother didn't seem as interesting. My father became distant. I knew I loved them, but I stopped caring about them.

I loved my sisters, equally, but differently. Andromeda was so much older, almost ten years. I looked up to her, wanted to be like her. Then, she got married to that Muggleborn, I went off to Hogwarts for my first year, and forgetting her became easier than I imagined.

Bella and I were inseparable. She was eighteen months older; she went to Hogwarts only a year before me. Except for that one year, we were inseparable. Mischief was our middle name, but we rarely got caught, because we covered for each other.

When she was arrested, I cried, hidden in the safety of my bedroom. The next day I looked at my red eyes, my puffy face, and decided that it was best if I didn't think about her. That's what I did until she escaped, but by then, I couldn't cry for her, because the woman who had left Azkaban wasn't my sister, but an insane version of Bella.

Then I met Lucius, and it was hate at first sight. The hat had just sorted me, and I walked to the Slytherin table, smiling at Bella, when I heard his voice.

"Look, another Black! They are so prolific, almost like Muggles."

I stopped, and did an about-face. I glared at him, just like Mother glared at the House Elves when she was most displeased. "As you know, my family can trace its pureblood ancestry for hundreds and hundreds of years. Moreover, we are so important in the wizarding world that everyone knows of us...even you," I said, putting as much distaste in the word 'you' as I could. "And who would you be?"

Of course, I knew who he was. Bella couldn't stop talking about Malfoy and Lestrange, two fifth years who acted like they owned Hogwarts, but I wasn't about to give him the satisfaction of knowing that.

"I'm Lucius Malfoy, your highness," he said mockingly. His friends laughed, but I ignored them. 

"Malfoy? Malfoy...oh yes, nouveau riche, from what I hear. Your father made money working with... Muggles, did he not?" I smiled prettily when I heard his gasp. "I didn't mean to embarrass you," I added with as much innocence as I could muster.

He stood up, and came so close that I had to look up, but I refused to be intimidated.

"Be careful with what you say. Pretty girls get hurt easily," he hissed.

"You should be careful. Arrogant boys get humiliated just as easily. Enjoy your dinner, Mr. Malfoy." I left him standing there, and joined Bella. Lucius and I spent the rest of the night glaring at each other.

Things didn't improve with time. Lucius and I would of course defend each other if someone from another house would insult us, but we were horrid to each other, spouting the vilest insults. The other Slytherins smartly stayed out of our discussions, leaving us to battle it out. I think, in a way, we entertained them as much as we scared them. 

We certainly provided a show one night, during my third year. The common room was full, people sitting everywhere, including the floor. Only discussions about sex brought us all together, and virginity was the topic for the night.

"Women are simply afraid of sex," Lucius sentenced at one point, and no one dared contradict him, Head Boy and undisputed leader of the Slytherin house. Well, almost no one.

I looked at him from my seat on the couch. "Or maybe women know the value of sex."

He walked behind the couch I was occupying, resting his elbows right behind my head, leaning forward until I could feel his breath on my neck. "OF course, they do. Sex is about love and affection and marriage. Isn't that right, Princess?" 

I hated that nickname as much as I hated him. Lucius could put so much disdain in that one word, but I refused to let him know how much it bothered me. "Only if you believe in fairy tales, Mr. Malfoy," I answered without turning around. "Sex is about power; a man will do anything for sex. Not that you know anything about being a man."

"Powerful words, but it's hippogriff's dung." He leaned closer until his cheek was resting against my head, his lips brushing against my ear. "The only reason you won't have sex is because you're a scared child."

This time I turned, and we were so close that our lips almost met. My heart skipped a beat, but I smiled calmly. "If I'm a child, the fact that you're so interested in my virginity makes you a paedophile."

I knew I had hit the mark when he winced, but Lucius soon regained his composure. "Words, nothing but words. The truth is that you use words to cover the fact that you are a coward. You are afraid of powerful wizards and too arrogant to be with someone who is weak."

I got up, and sighed. "You are right about the latter, but unfortunately I haven't met a powerful wizard yet. I shall inform you of the accuracy of your statement when I do meet him."

As I left, I could feel his eyes drilling in my back. In fact, I was so convinced that he wanted to hurt me that the only reason I was brave enough to turn my back on him was that Bella was sitting there, wand in hand.

Of course, Lucius wouldn't have been Lucius if he had let things end that way. Later that night, I was asleep in my bed when someone got in my bed, resting on top of me. I reached for my wand before opening my eyes, but I had my wrists pinned down against the mattress. I finally looked at my assailant. I should have known that only Lucius would have had the courage to do something so stupid.

"You can scream all you want; no one will hear you. I cast a silencing charm around the bed." Lucius pushed my legs open with his knees, and settled between them, taking part of his weight off. I don't know if it was supposed to scare me, but I was happy that I could breath again.

"Are you mad? Do you know how many points they'll deduct if they catch you," I said once my breathing was under control.

"Who will tell them about this?" he asked with a smirk. He knew that I would never report him, not when it meant such a loss of points for my House.

"Have you simply lost your mind or is there something that you want?" I rebutted, ignoring how good his body felt against mine. It was solid, protective, not at all scary. I started to think that maybe I had gone mad.

"I want you to admit that you're afraid of me, of this..." He got closer, and he began to place little kiss along my jaw. "Of sex."

I snorted. "Of you? Please, Malfoy, don't flatter yourself. The only thing I feel for you is hate."

"Feeling is mutual, Princess, but I still think that behind that icy demeanour, you're scared of letting go, of showing someone who you really are. I wager that you'll leave Hogwarts still a virgin." 

As he spoke, he continued to kiss me, and I felt a tingle move through me and settle in my stomach. I didn't even have words for what I was feeling, but it felt very good, and I was too caught up in these new sensations to realise what Lucius was doing: using my pride and arrogance to get what he wanted. "I wager that you're wrong." The words were out of my mouth without a thought. 

The smile he gave me was lethal and mocking at the same time. "Am I to take your word for it, Princess?"

In retrospect, what I did was very stupid, but I was young and more than a little arrogant, and I refused to lose an argument against Lucius Malfoy. I raised my head, straining against his hold on my wrists, and I brushed his teeth with my tongue. "I will only have sex with a powerful wizard, remember? Are you powerful enough?" I asked with a wicked smile.

That was the first and only time that I saw Lucius hesitate. "You mean..."

"What, Malfoy? McGonagall got your tongue? Maybe you're not man enough, maybe you like to talk, but..."

"Don't...not another word." He slid his hand over my cheek and down my neck. "Are you sure?"

"Did you change your mind?" I asked, without hiding the satisfaction in my voice. Lucius seemed unable to do anything, and I felt like the most powerful witch in the world. I didn't know back then just how lucky I was.

"This isn't a game, Narcissa," he murmured.

I was shocked, I didn't think he knew my first name, but I refused to back down, and have him laugh at me forever. "I know it's not a game, but you don't seem to know."

"You're too proud for your own good."

"What's that supposed to mean?" I asked, but he didn't reply, only smiled at me, before kissing me. 

I had kissed other boys, always messy affairs, while they tried to grope me, but this was different. Lucius took his time, rolling to his side, and pulling me with him. We stayed there for what felt like hours, just kissing, and touching. His hands evoked sensations that I had never experienced in my life, touching me where no one had ever dared touch me. 

"You're so beautiful," he whispered in my ear at one point. I opened my eyes, and lost my breath when I saw the look on his face. Hate and scorn was replaced by caring and lust. He kissed me and caressed me as if I were a precious doll, or maybe like a princess. 

Things were great until I felt his cock pressed against me. I tensed immediately, but he went slow, made sure that I was comfortable, both physically and emotionally, with a patience that he seldom displayed. When he entered me, he held me tight, murmuring reassurances, tenderly running his fingers over my face and neck.

I can't say that it was the best sex of my life. In fact, it was probably the worse. I didn't even reach my orgasm; I was too worried analysing everything Lucius did. It wasn't painful, Lucius made certain of that, but I couldn't believe that people where so interested in this. I liked the kissing much better, not that I told Lucius that.

I watched almost as a spectator when Lucius reached his own climax, losing the control he wanted me to lose. His long hair was sweaty and sticking to his face, his lips were parted and he was drawing breath like he was dying, his eyes were hazed but they never moved from my face. I decided that if I got to see Lucius so needy, putting up with sex was not an unfair compromise.

Lucius slept in my bed that night, getting up at dawn. "I have to go back to my room before the teachers wake up." 

I rolled my eyes. "Really, I thought you had permission."

He chuckled, before kissing me as gently as he had the night before. "Can the sarcasm wait until I wake up properly?" 

"I shall be nice this time, but only this once," I said with a real smile. I watched him get up and get dressed. Lucius stared back, completely at ease with his body. 

"Later, Princess," he told me as he got ready to leave.

"Malfoy." I waited until he looked at me again, and then I said, "I still hate you."

He nodded. "Good, because I hate you, too."

That night set the stage for our future encounters. We would fight, Lucius would tenderly make love to me, we'd fall asleep, we would wake up, and we would bicker again. Somewhere during that year, I learned to appreciate sex, and the night I shook with my first orgasm, I saw the biggest grin on Lucius's face. Of course, I wiped it off with a simple 'took you long enough'.

I assumed that what we had would end with his leaving Hogwarts, but I was wrong. Lucius would show up at my house, usually in the middle of the night, knocking at my window, knowing full well that he would have gotten hexed if he had tried to Apparate into the house. He would spend the night with me, and fly away in the early hours on his broom. I later learned that he flew only to the gate and then he would Apparate.

When I returned to school, things became harder. He couldn't sneak in, but he would be at Hogsmeade every weekend. We wouldn't even bother with the initial fighting, or foreplay like Bella used to call it, but we'd go straight to the room he rented at the Three Broomsticks, and stayed there until it was time for me to return to school. 

Bella had predicted that it would end quickly. Secretly, I agreed with her, but we were both wrong. Lucius didn't seem to get tired of me or of telling me how much he hated me, but that was all right since I hated him, too. 

When I turned seventeen, I had expected a gift from him, but nothing came. A few days later, I went to Hogsmeade, and he was waiting for me like nothing happened. I did the same, of course, kissing his cheek as I usually did, before starting to walk toward the Three Broomsticks. When we got there, instead of going upstairs, he walked to the fireplace.

"I have a surprise for you. Step in with me."

I huffed, but hitched my robe up, and stepped into the fireplace. Lucius put a hand around my waist before using the Floo powder. 

"It's an empty house," I said when we reached our destination.

"Not quite. Follow me." Lucius walked calmly through the house, and then opened a door for me. 

The huge room was enveloped in darkness, but when I stepped in, I saw the ceiling charmed to look like the night sky. I looked all around me; the room was empty save for a table and two chairs in the middle of it. An elegant tablecloth covered the table, and food was served already. "What is this?" 

"Since it was your birthday..." he started with a smile, and wrapped his hands around my waist.

"Please, the best gift you can give me is ridding me of your presence. I thought you knew this by now." I leaned back into his familiar body. We'd been together for almost five years, and I couldn't imagine being with anyone else. 

"Always so sweet," he murmured. "Besides I did leave you alone for your birthday, but today isn't your birthday, therefore I see no reason why I can't fascinate you with my brilliant conversational skills and charming manners."

I laughed, before pressing against his crotch. "Really, Lucius, I didn't know you considered sex conversation."

"I'm brilliant in bed, but we do talk..." I turned around and raised an eyebrow. "Well, we do talk once in a while, after sex, before sex, during sex. See, plenty of talking."

"Right, how could I mistake 'harder', 'oh fuck', 'god, this is good' for anything but deep conversation?" I sighed dramatically. "I shall endeavour to have more conversation such as these."

"As long as you have them with me." His fingers gripped my waist, harder than he intended. My Lucius was always quite possessive, but of course, I was smart enough to know it, and use it.

"Well, life does get boring if one talks to only one person. It is much more interesting and fun to 'converse' with many people," I said with seriousness.

"I don't know about interesting. It's certainly easier, when things get tough, one can simply pick up and move on." He grazed my cheek with his fingers, and there was something different in his eyes, something that I had seen the first time we had made love. "I wager that you aren't brave enough to do things differently."

His words piqued my interested, but I wasn't sure what he was trying to tell me. I did the only thing possible, played our game to see where it would take us. "Brave doesn't mean being stupid... unless you're a Gryffindor, of course. What do you think I don't have the courage to do?"

"I wager that you aren't brave enough to-" He took a ring out of his pocket. It was platinum, with a big emerald on top. "-to spend the rest of your life with me, in this house."

I looked at the ring and then at him. I couldn't keep the smile off my face, but I fought the tears of happiness, because there was no way that I would cry in front of Lucius. "Why would I do such a stupid thing when I hate you?"

"Because you'd get bored if you were with someone whom you didn't hate so much, and for the record the hatred is reciprocal." He took my hand and slipped the ring on my finger. "I had planned how to do this. We would have dinner, and I would go down on my knees, and ask you, but...Marry me?"

I nodded, biting my lip to stop from crying. "Yes..." I cleared my throat, making sure that my voice wouldn't crack as I spoke. "Yes, I'll marry you, and if you ever go down on your knees, I'll die of shock." So little did I know about what would happen, but I could not imagine Lucius brought to his knees by anyone. 

We got married that September, a few months after I took my N.E.W.T.s. Lucius bet me that I couldn't arrange everything so quickly. I told him if I did, he would be my sex slave for life. I won, but I don't think he minded losing that one bet.

We never did the happily married, instead we continued to bicker throughout the honeymoon and afterwards. Mother said that it was unbecoming and that she would not return to our house until we stopped. She gave Lucius one more reason to argue with me, and Mother never did come back to our home.

However, nothing I ever said compared to all the curses and threats that I sputtered while in labour. For the first time, Lucius didn't respond, instead he sat by my side holding my hand, and taking the abuse. And then...

Then Draco was born. Lucius took our son in his arms, and held him tight, ignoring the blood and fluids staining his robe. His entire face softened as he looked at our child. He brought Draco to me, resting this tiny being over me, while Lucius wrapped his arms around the baby and me.

"I love you, Princess," he said softly before kissing my cheek, and then Draco's.

I laughed and cried at the same time. It was perfect. I had a wonderful husband, a beautiful baby, and nothing could be better than it was at that moment. "Didn't you hate me?"

"I generally do, but today is the exception," he answered me with a smile.

"In that case, I love you, too...just for today." 

~*~*~*~

"Mother, please, Mother, it's cold outside." Draco comes closer, and rests a hand on my shoulder.

I sigh at the familiar gesture. Lucius used to do the same thing when he wanted my attention. I cover his hand with my gloved one, while I keep looking at the headstone. "I miss him." We buried my Lucius today, but I lost him the day they took him to Azkaban, three years ago.

"I know, Mother."

It's a lie. Draco doesn't understand, just like the rest of the world didn't understand that we loved each other. It wasn't money or status that brought us together, but the fact that we could make each other's life interesting, worth living. We loved each other because of our bickering not in spite of it.

"You know, I hated your father when I met him. Hate isn't strong enough," I add with a smile. "He was arrogant, presumptuous, so full of himself. I didn't want to hex him; I wanted to strangle him with my bare hands. Merlin, I spent my days thinking of ways to torment him." 

"True love, wasn't it?" he tells me with a smirk, and he looks so much like Lucius that I wonder if I'll ever be able to look at Draco without thinking of Lucius.

"Yes, hate at first sight, and yet I couldn't imagine life without him." I brush away the tears that threaten to spill. I never let Lucius see my tears; I'm not about to start now. "What about you, love? Have you met that person that you hate so much that you can't imagine life without her?" His smile gives him away immediately. "It's not Pansy, is it?"

He laughs. "By Slytherin, no. I can't imagine her ever disagreeing with me, which is mighty boring, if you ask me." Draco puts his arm around my shoulders, and leads me toward our carriage. "If you must know, it's not even a 'her'."

Now, this is news. I suspect that he never said anything, because of Lucius. My husband was strict about certain things. Of course, he wouldn't have cared less if Draco had sex with men, but he would have wanted the marriage and the heir. I look at Draco with a raised eyebrow. "Care to tell me more?"

"Well, I knew of him before school, but when I met him in school, I hated him. Spent my days thinking of ways to get him expelled-"

"Don't tell me it's Potter." Lucius is probably cursing up a storm if he's listening to this.

"Good god, Mother, really, I said I hated him, not that I wanted to kill him with my bare hands..." He pauses, obviously thinking about what I just said. "All right, maybe not the best argument, but no, it's not Potter. He has red hair, thousands of freckles and a plebeian mentality, and I swear I don't know what I would do without Weasley."

"A Weasley?" I can't help laughing. "Mother hated the fact that I married your father, said he didn't have the proper pedigree. She can't object to a Weasley, we're practically related."

Draco groans. "Mother, please, let's not even go there."

"So which one is he?"

"Ron, annoying like hell, has a bad temper, we've been fighting since we met." He looks at me, and smiles. "I hate him."

"Yes, I hated your father, too." Really, why I keep crying is beyond me.

"I know, Mother." He kisses me with such tenderness; my baby has grown up, and I hadn't noticed until now. "Father hated you as well. I hope some day you'll find someone else you hate as much." 

I smile at him. "I doubt it, but it's a nice thought." I guess my son understand more than I imagined.


End file.
